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White Ghost

by Adolf Niegsch

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1.
The Torch 03:13
Please don’t go away but if you do I’ll stay behind Carry the torch for you, burning for all the broken hearts You’ve left behind in a wake that ripples on Into a desertscape of cavernous minds that never rest Are you saying you don’t know me anymore ‘Cause if that’s the question, I can still carry the load They’re tattooed with poignancy that only the flame bearers could know Ashes creep down their sleeves and darken their cuffs like cosmic leaves Falling from outer space, a black hole you opened there Where words are infinite so I’ll just think them instead Are you saying you don’t know me anymore ‘Cause if that’s the question, I can still carry the load
2.
Clementine 03:19
Wandering, I’ve been wandering for so long Counting sheep and the four leaf clovers I found Wondering, I’m still wondering where you are The waiting room overflows so I move to the hall Where do we get off falling so hard In love each time there’s a flicker in your eye Looking out, I’m still looking out every day Still climbing those trees, the higher you get the weaker the branch I’m still waiting for you to come into season, thrown on the shelf And create our own world of marble and stone with no hands but our own Where do we get off falling so hard In love each time there’s a flicker in your eye
3.
I cut my arms off so you don’t have to It was easier than I thought it would be That seam ripper is dull but so am I The hardest part was finding a skin tone spool of thread I can feel it, that weight bearing down I can hear it scratching holes in my skin I can see it, that sun showing through like kitchen linen I cut my legs off so you don’t have to It was easier than I thought it would be Those rusty shears are old but so am I The hardest part was giving away my favorite shoes I can feel it, that weight bearing down I can hear it scratching holes in my skin I can see it, that sun showing through like kitchen linen
4.
On the Radio 03:16
Keep in time with that ancient rhyme They can feel the beat with those stomping feet Hoof and hide, cast iron soulful eyes They don’t give a damn, a teenage rock band Group therapy meets in my car with me A Freudian slip of silk, a cookie crumbles in milk It’s so sweet to me, the idea of advice for free A big boned barmaid who shares the same mistakes with you Only on the radio Masquerade in stereo I can see your face in there, only on the radio A fading art form lost in a static storm Ball lightening caught on my tongue, it stings I promise not to tell for fear of going to hell My own moniker sounds like a mocking bird Burning up, oh, I’m burning up I saw you in the sea floating past me But I can’t make you out with that sun dress fanned out I’ll always remember that flower and sun hat, it happens Only on the radio Masquerade in stereo I can see your face in there, only on the radio
5.
I got a call from you in the morning Untied like a shoestring, unraveled like crochet I remember the feeling of hair through my fingers The weight was so heavy that no one could lift her, on their own When you’re on your own it feels good When somebody needs you When somebody needs you When somebody needs I heard you singing into my ear A melody ancient, a lyric familiar It sounded so lonely I thought I would cry A river so clear no one could find it, on their own When you’re on your own it feels good When somebody needs you When somebody needs you When somebody needs
6.
Where do I begin Do I start, stop, or quit I’m grasping for twigs but they’re burnt up for kindling The dust, it settles down I kick it up but then I sit back down I’m hungry for a change How do you tell when it’s different How can you tell if it’s different From the writer’s pen or the lover’s bed It comes from what I did and what I said I’m faded but not burnt out, just evaporated clouds Seeded by the Fall, the copycat fools us all He’ll follow me through the woods until I’m run down for good And climb upon my lap to fall asleep there at last He’ll fall asleep there at last With the writer’s pen in the lover’s bed It’s in what I did and what I said
7.
Don’t go away but don’t stay That dull, dark sting keeps me warm at night I think the clock hands might have stopped So I won’t be surprised when that ache won’t go I look in the mirror, I know your gaze is there Bouncing around back and forth forever Watching the Christmas gifts disappear at the pawn shop They don’t demand much worth from a stranger Your meticulous words, they hang like curtains Bearing fruit on the vine fading out in the sunlight Shining through a magnifying lens, burning all of them black A lovely shade of night I know is coming Don’t go away but don’t stay That dull, dark sting keeps me warm at night I think the clock hands might have stopped So I won’t be surprised when that ache won’t go Sometimes I just think I am made Of metal and stone and all things arcane It erodes from all sides every time And I never can tell if it’s even there
8.
Help me to turn it off, to turn it all around, gently Half the time I want it all but then I realize that’s not me The coffee’s low, I’m out of wine I’m just fasting to kill some time But most of all the honey’s sweet The water’s melting the nettle tea The chorus line, it’s kicking in And though it's wordless, like a hymn It’ll do the job with a grin And like the rhythm, I’m digging in
9.
I’m dried out again in the water but I can breathe under water The trick is to find something to barter for In this case I chose you to suffer My copper code oxidizes into a green eyed monster You can bet one of those feelings Survived the night with my blessing What if you came to my funeral to ask my body to forgive you I’d stand ever so casual and reach out to brush your tears away As if to say that I’m sorry

about

Recorded in my bedroom and at Swordpaw in Troy, New York.

Many thanks to my friends who offered advice, encouragement, and instrument loans.

credits

released September 9, 2016

Written, performed, recorded by Tommy Krebs
All drums except for On the Radio recorded by Ian White
Mixed and Mastered by Mitch Masterson
Cover Art by Justin Brown Durand

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Adolf Niegsch Albany, New York

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